Why I Write

A look into what has brought me here

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I write because I am still learning to find meaning in the fog.

It is the honest shape of my faith journey. There have been seasons where things felt clear, and seasons where almost everything felt confusing. Seasons of faith, seasons of doubt, seasons of deconstruction, and seasons where I was not sure if I would ever find my way back.

But God was merciful.

After years of confusion around my faith, and after a season where I had thrown God out the window, God restored my soul in July 2023. It was miraculous and a relief. It was also only the beginning.

The hard work was still ahead.

What followed was a long season of therapy, deep soul searching, and slow restoration. God began healing things in me that had been broken for a long time. That healing process had its ups and downs. Moments of discovery and growth were often followed by moments of discouragement and despair.

At one point, I came to believe that while God had been gracious enough to restore my faith, I had ruined my opportunity to be used by Him. I thought I had had my chance and wasted it. I believed my turn had come and gone.

So I stopped writing

Not because God had asked me to stop, but because I was punishing myself. I gave up something I loved, writing and communicating, because I thought I no longer had anything worth offering.

But grace has a way of finding the places where shame has been doing its quiet work.

In May 2025, something changed. During one of my therapy sessions, I was asked to do a simple word exercise. Out of many words and phrases, I had to choose the ones that described the wholesome life I longed for.

The word that rose to the top was hope.

I realized how deeply I longed for it. How little of it I felt I had. And yet, in that same moment, for the first time in what felt like forever, I also felt hopeful.

Something healed.

Hope restored, I confessed to God how little I had understood of grace. I thanked Him for not giving up on me, even when I had given up on myself. I thanked Him for His calling on my life.

That calling, for me, is wrapped up in the word Qoheleth.

Qoheleth is the voice behind Ecclesiastes. The one who looks honestly at life, with all its beauty, frustration, mystery, limits, and vapour-like fragility, and still keeps searching for wisdom and meaning under God.

That is the kind of writing I want to offer here.

Not polished answers pretending life is simple.

Not religious noise.

I want to share honest reflections from Scripture, faith, doubt, healing, everyday life, and the strange grace of finding holy threads in ordinary places.

Sometimes that will look like short devotional reflections (Popcorn devotions). Other times it may be deeper dives into something I am thinking about, personal stories, or audio reflections. But the heart behind it will remain the same: to notice God’s presence in the everyday stuff, and to keep walking by faith even when the path ahead is not entirely clear.

I am still finding my way.

But I am writing again and trusting God to take these simple words and multiply their impact in the hearts and minds of those who read them.

If that kind of journey resonates with you, I would be honoured to have you walk with me.